Life is a rollercoaster and I just went down....hard.

Sorry for not writing sooner, but like I said in my title for this post, I was going down....hard. Things were not going well with me for some time now and I thought it was because of my ADHD that I was having a burn-out. So I looked for help and contacted PSYQ. I thought I needed help with my ADHD and also had my medication looked at by a psychiatrist. After my intake, the psychologist told me I was battling a depression and asked me if I had felt like this before. Uhm "Yes, actually multiple times". She asked me if I was ever treated for any of those depressions. Uhm, "No". I also learned that I never take problems/situations and feelings that come with it serious, I always tend to make them sound less heavy. This way I was able to cope with everything and if that didn't help I ate the feelings away. So for years now I kept all my true feelings inside, unable to communicate, always thinking I needed to be the strong one and the one who would fix it all by herself. The depressions were a reaction of this behavior, because how long can you go on doing this without breaking? A few more things also came up and part of my recovery plan is to have talks once a week with a psychologist, see a psychiatrist for my medication(which I already did once and my Ritalin is much higher now and is working so much better for me at this point, but he still likes to bump it up a bit more in a few weeks from now) and I am having a personal organiser/coach help me with my business and household so in the end I will not always have the feeling I always have to be busy, maybe even have a day off once a week! 

So yeah, things are not going that well, but I can finally see that this is the right way to go for me and my family. I have hope that this will finally get me in balance.

I never cried this much and I never shared so much of my feelings with my friends like I have been doing the past few weeks and it feels actually good. It feels like I am going somewhere. The personal organiser helped me already with my office space and also gave me a kickstart to tackle the rest of the house(I am proud to say Anthony finally has a new room, Jadenn's room is in order and our bedroom as well). The rest will be done by the end of this year I think and it feels so much better already in our house :)

So yeah this is where I am in the rollercoaster of life, but the best thing is that once you have gone down, you need to get up :)

Corinnexxx

Comments

[jen]

Corinne,
I am sorry that you are feeling this way, but I am so glad to hear that you have a support system already in place....you are so talented and beautiful!I sure hope that all the tears will soon be replaced by smiles... Take care of yourself!!!xoxo...

[Jan C.]

It's pretty great that you have had this epiphany, because as you say, now there is nowhere to go but up. One of your strengths is that you seem decisive. If you see a problem and don't know how to fix it yourself, you get busy and find someone who can help. Lots of people (including me) waste tons of time trying to decide what to do, whether to do it, when to do it, etc. You took action and now things are looking better!

[angela]

Hi dear Corinne, I am so sorry to hear that you are in a bad place, but... happy to hear you are climbing upwards again!! Keep up the good work, and don't feel bad, sad or disappointed when you have an off day, sometimes they feel the worst on your way up! I know...
Big hugs from me and the girls!

[Thinkie]

Sterkte! - knuffel -

[LINDA]

Thinking of you, so glad you got help.

[Marit]

Zo te horen is je karretje voorbij het diepste punt, en kun je vanaf nu alleen maar weer omhoog! Sterkte ermee meis! Dikke kus

[Kirsten]

Klinkt toch wel weer positief, stoer dat je hulp zocht en fijn dat je het kon vinden.
Sterkte met alles !

[Sherri P eh]

Corinne, it takes a very brave and strong person to tackle something like depression, and an even braver and stronger person to share their struggle. I admire you and I am so glad you're taking the necessary steps to deal with it. I hope you can soon return your focus to your life, your loves and your creativity. Hang it there and stay strong! XO

[Denise Porter]

Corinne, I have been following your blog for awhile now. I too suffer from so many of the things you are battling and thank you for being brave enough to talk about them. I have ADD, chronic depression, anxiety and a weight problem. I admire how you are always working on your problems and continue to learn things about yourself. I have reached a point where I no longer feel there is any help for my symptoms. Please take care on your journey.

[na_ch]

Hi Corinne, Do you remember what you said to me 3 years ago ? It's the same for you : you've got the positive energy in you, believe in and live :)
Love
Nath (sorry for my bad english)

[Mary Rogers]

Just in case you check your blog messages....just wanted you to know I've been checking in for a new post over the months. Thinking of you and praying that life is on the upside for you. *Hugs*