I got a message on this blog not to long ago asking me for an update as it been months since I posted something here. And it has been months, months of going down in the same downwards spiral that I have been in way too many times. I am ashamed to the bone to type here that I am fat again, that I almost gained it all again, just like I am ashamed to meet up with friends or go into the stores where people know me. I am still figuring out why I have the need to build this wall of fat around me. I think I figured a lot out already but how do I solve what has been broken for so long now? I did decide that I will not doing any diet anymore, it has never been about the food and starving myselve again and my body that is something I will never do again, no matter how good the results are. So I do not know what my next step is going to be, all I know is that I am not ready for it right now but that I also feel stuck again :(. People telling me to get help, although meant well hurt me because if it was that easy I would not be where I am right now and nobody else have to tell me I am fat again, trust me I am well aware no need to rub it in. So yes still trying hard to get a grip on life, hopefully one day I will all figure it out. The one good thing is that I got my hair and curls back :). Corinnexxx