• CorinneDelis1. Get yours at bighugelabs.com
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

site meter

« Hello Brazil!! | Main | My DH is the best! »

February 13, 2007

Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

IreneF

Sorry for all the English speaking people here. Can't tell this in English.

Jasper wilde vanavond met het bowlingspel in onze lange gang spelen (6 kegels en 1 bal) … Wij moesten meedoen ... We waren heerlijk aan het spelen met zijn drieën ... Om de beurt gooien, soms raak gooien, meestal mis omdat de gang zo lang is ... Geeft niks als je maar lol hebt ... Maar ja, bedtijd ... je kent het wel ... gaan we opruimen ... Jasper sputtert, want hij is nog lang niet moe en roept naar mij: 'pas op je gezicht' … gooit de bal ... en gooit nu raak … jawel midden in mijn gezicht ... schrikt dan zo ontzettend van ons lachen dat hij in huilen uitbarst … Wij blijven lachen, waardoor hij weer harder gaat huilen want 'het was niet om te lachen' ... grinnik … grinnik …
PS: Deze zere wang kon er ook nog wel bij. Voel me gebutst en gedeukt: gisteren zelf een autoportier tegen mijn gezicht getrokken bij het enthousiast openen ervan (dik en blauw jukbeen; ik weet nog niet hoe ik het voor elkaar kreeg) - slimpie - vanmorgen sneed ik een stuk(je) van mijn vinger in plaats van de kaas - superslimpie - tijdens een overleg op mijn werk wilde ik mijn stoel verplaatsen, maar zette het topje van mijn ringvinger klem (blauwe vinger) - supersuperslimpie - sneed vanavond mijn wijsvinger in plaats van de knoflook (rode vinger) - supersupersuperslimpie - en samen met die blauwe wang van vanavond is dat: slimpie + superslimpie + supersuperslimpie + supersupersuperslimpie = megadom … Ik hoop dat morgen beter gaat …

Judith

I have a funny story about a trip my husband and I made while travelling a whole month in India with the two of us:
"Vanmorgen gaan we op een romantische kamelensafari en zullen overnachten in de woestijn: Ralph zit al snel hoog en droog, maar zou gauw ik een been over de rug van mijn kameel sla, staat hij op! Goed en wel op de kameel moet Ralph bijsturen, plotseling doemt er uit het niets een weg op, midden door de woestijn. Er komt namelijk een vrachtautootje aanrijden over die weg en Ralph weet niet waar de rem op de kameel zit… We zijn dan pas een uur onderweg en hebben al de nodige spierpijn en hebben nog de hele dag in het vooruitzicht... Het wordt nu vrij eentonig op de kameel en rond lunchtijd stoppen we om wat te eten en even de benen te strekken, gelukkig! Het gesjok duurt de hele middag voort en op de woestijn ben je ook wel een keer uitgekeken als we verder rijden langs andere woestijnplaatsjes.

Rond zes uur in de avond aankomen bij de ‘Sam Sand Dunes’ , die er wel erg mooi bij liggen. We moeten maar bij hotel Lala wachten op de zonsondergang - een strooien hutje met 4 muren en een dak- We nemen een drankje terwijl de mestkevers vrolijk de kamelenkeutels in het rond duwen!
Andere toeristen komen met een bus aan en rond zonsondergang trekt een hele stoet mensen de woestijn in We genieten van de prachtige zonsondergang, om stil van te worden. Dan verdwijnen alle andere toeristen even snel als ze gekomen zijn en wordt het stil in de woestijn, heel stil.
In een hutje genieten wij van de rust en wordt gevraagd of we in dit hutje willen slapen of in de woestijn. Wij zijn stoer en echte ‘die hards’, dus we gaan ook echt in de woestijn slapen. Ik verheug me al op die romantische tent!
De man vindt het goed en loopt met ons mee. Hij legt een laken op het zand en een zwaardere deken er bovenop. Dat is ons bed zegt hij, wenst ons een goede nacht, hij komt ons bij zonsopgang weer ophalen en loopt weg! ??. Nou ja… “Is dat ons bed? Waar is die tent die we in gedachten hadden?” Nou ja, niet zo zeuren, we gaan liggen en genieten van de sterrenhemel, die werkelijk schitterend is. “Toch wel prachtig he” zeggen we zacht tegen elkaar. En terwijl we daar zo liggen, steekt een zacht windje de kop op… Zwerfhonden verzamelen zich om ons heen, de wind gaat nu echt waaien om aan te zwengelen tot een heuse zandstorm!! Het waait harder en harder, het zand zit overal! We zitten midden in de zandstorm en kunnen nergens naar toe! We slaan de dekens om onze hoofden en zitten zo de hele nacht elkaar met grote ogen aan te kijken –en de zwerfhonden- en wachten tot de zon weer opkomt… Wat een lange nacht… die ochtend lijken we wel de crew van de Blair witch project En tot overmaat van ramp, komt daar de Indier aan met… 2 kamelen!! Nee niet nog eens!! Het lijkt wel een nachtmerrie…"

Larissa

Sorry for the english speaking guests, it isn´t funny in english....

Maandag is mijn werkdag en wordt mijn 4 jarige zoon opgehaald door oma en gaat met haar mee totdat mijn werkdag er weer op zit. Oma heeft echter een kleine ingreep gehad en kon wel oppassen maar niet autorijden, dus na overleg op het werk afgesproken dat ik hem snel bij school oppik, aflever bij oma en dan weer snel naar het werk ga...
Om 3 uur kom ik aangescheurd met mijn onafscheidelijke flesje water. Kleine bij de juf weggeplukt, in de autostoel en gauw door.... Ergens in mijn achterhoofd registreer ik dat hij niet dezelfde broek aan heeft als vanmorgen?? Maar tegelijkertijd bedenk ik dat ik nog met Randstad moet bellen om wat mensen aan te vragen. Ik neem een grote slok water en we zijn op weg.... Na een korte stilte.... Mama?...Ja schatje?....Mijn scheet was geen scheet....Huh? *sproeit slok water tegen de binnenkant van de ruit* Mijn schatje had in de veronderstelling een scheet te moeten laten zijn broek volgepoept.... Maar dat nuchtere commentaar vanaf de achterbank zal ik niet snel meer vergeten...

Laura (Iowa girl on twopeas)

I thought this was funny when my dh sent the email to me:
Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper.
Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.
There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.
That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.
Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars.
That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day.
Statistically, females drive half of these.
That's 18,000 women drivers!
In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS.
That's 642.
According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding.
That's 449.
According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide.
That's 98.
And 34% describe men as their biggest problem.
That's 33.
According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing.
That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.
Give her the finger? I don't think so.

Beth Warren

I have 2 quick funny stories. The first...my uncle was an airline pilot (a captain) for United Airlines. He often does international flights, and I believe was flying from Germany to the US, and was walking down the gangplank to the plane, in his captains uniform, carrying a teddy bear. A woman passenger goes up to him and says "Captain, is that teddy bear for your son?". My uncle hugged the teddy to him and said "No Ma'am. I always carry my teddy with me when I fly." The woman supposedly (according to the story) ran off the gangway and had to be moved to another flight, she refused to fly with him. :)

My 2nd story has to do with my dog and Thanksgiving. My mom is one of 4 sisters, their father was German and taught them all how to bake, how to make homemade pie crusts, etc. So my aunt comes to our house for Thanksgiving, bringing a pumpkin pie. My mom asked if she made the crust, and my aunt said it was a storebought crust. My mom gave her a hard time for using a store bought crust, when their father taught them all how to make a really good homemade crust. We sat down to eat dinner and left the pie on the kitchen counter. When we went back to prepare dessert, we saw that my dog (a boxer) had gotten up, reached her paws on the counter and pulled the pie over. She ate out all the pumpkin filling and left all the crust. I sometimes wonder if my dog can speak (or understand) because she made my mom's point so perfectly, we couldn't have done better ourselves. :)

Thanks!

Beth

cathi beresford

here is a photography- crazy women scrapper story (it's about a day in my life)....I love your paper....
I am Ca. born and raised- total city girl.... but i love nature, flowers, animals, anything outside really. I saw my very first Cardinal the week before and ran back home to get my camera so i could get pictures of this beautiful bird. Now picture this....i'm driving home and right next door to my house is a brick single story house that my neighbors just moved out of. There was a flock of Pheasants in their flower bed- It was just like the cartoons where the babies are all following their mommy. I was so excited....I throw the car into park -jump out of my car and run into the house to get davis (age 9) and my camera. well, i made it out of the house before davis (thank goodness) and run like a crazy women next door to get pictures of the little birds....Next thought I had was, "wow that's weird they are still in the same exact spot"...i walk up closer to get a better view...THEY ARE ROD IRON...THEY ARE LAWN ART...OH MY GOD I LOOKED LIKE A COMPLETE CRAZY WOMEN GETTING READY TO TAKE PICTURES OF FAKE BIRDS....Davis and Brian (my hubby )come outside and now i have to tell them the story- i could barely breath i was laughing so hard....i'm such a dork....always there for a good laugh though. thanks for listening.

SandyB

Hmmmm...

Recently I was in the car with my dd and most of her cousins (all boys ranging from 5 - 12). They were talking about what they were going to be when they grow up. Of course they started with "I'm going to be a racecar driver, I'm going to be a football player", etc. My daughter (5) in her infinite wisdom says "Oh yeah? When I grow up I'm going to be an ADULT!!!!" Well, she's probably the only one who has it right. I, of course, giggled quietly in the front seat and went on my way. Thanks for the fun!!! Great stories!

Celeste B.

Well, maybe you won't find this so funny since you're not an american, but I'm sure you've still heard a lot of press on the subject. Hope it makes you laugh.

Hillary Clinton called Bill into her office one day and said, "Bill, I have a great idea! I know how we can win back Middle America and secure my presidential victory in 2008."

"Great, but how do you propose we go about that," asked Bill?

"Well," Hillary responds, "We'll go down to a local Wal-Mart, get some cheezy clothes and shoes, like most middle Americans wear and then we'll stop at the dog pound and pick up a Labrador. When we look the
part we'll go to a nice old country bar in Middle America. We'll show them that we really enjoy the Countryside and show admiration and respect for the hard working people living there."

A few days later, all decked out and with the requisite Labrador at heel, they set off from New York in a westerly direction. Eventually they arrived at just the place they were looking for.

With dog in tow they walk into the bar. They step up to the bar and the Bartender takes a step back and say's, "Aren't you Bill and Hillary Clinton?"

Hillary answers, "Yes we are, and what a lovely town you have here. We were just passing through and Bill suggested that we stop and take in some local color."

They then order a couple of beers from the bartender and proceed to drink them down, all the while chatting up a storm with anyone who would listen.

All of a sudden, the bar room door opens and a grizzled old farmer comes in. He walks up to the Labrador, lifts its tail and looks underneath, shrugged his shoulders and walks out the door. A few
moments later, in comes another old farmer. He walks up to the dog,lifts its tail, looks underneath, scratches his head and then leaves the bar.

Over the course of the next hour or so, another four or five farmers came in, lift the dog's tail, and went away looking puzzled. Eventually Hillary and Bill could stand it no longer and called the bartender over. "Tell me" said Hillary, "why did all those old farmers come in and look under the dog's tail like that? Is it some sort of old custom?"

"Good Lord no," said the bartender. "It's just that some one has told them that there was a Labrador in this bar with two assholes!"

Petra

I could use something that makes me laugh too...(as I'm very worried about the difficult period my best friend is going through right now) so: I'm going to read these comments as a kind of therapy. I only read the email of Kim so far: the one her grandma send her. Tears, OMG. So Corinne this is the best RAK ever. I'll buy your papers and have a lot of fun reading these stories the next few days :)
XPetra

susan

wow, this is going to be a tough one, but I'm a nanny so I should have something to at least make you smile.

the little boy I take care of (he's three) loves to exclaim about things. His new exclamation is "Holy, Moly COW!"

As in, "HOlY MOLY COW, where did all this sunshine come from, nanny?"
"HOLY MOLY COW, nanny, I just have to watch a movie right now!"
and my personal favorite, "HOLY MOLY COW! Nanny you need to keep exercising becuase your bum-bum is still really big!"

GREAT RAK by the way! :-)

Martine

uhm 60 comments... uhm well.. just wanted to say, that i love you're line, and you must be sooo proud that you are holding something in you're hands that you worked on for so long. I think that made the greatest smile on youre face ever. (I know i was jumping up and down at the Free, when I saw the new CD releases!!!, and I am not even on it!!) Have fun with you're awesome job. and especcialy have fun reading this, greath way to do a Rack! ( i know i am laughing all the way down to my comment, so good luck on that!)
*Hugs*
Martine

Linda Beeson

We received a cute video with this story to go with it. Some homeowners were receiving outradgeous water bills. Out of sight! Hardly possible - was there a leak somewhere - they had to be some mistake. So they decided they needed to figure out what was going on. Through some investigation - they discovered that their CAT LOVED to flush the toilet. They set up a video camera. He would sit at the edge of the toilet for the longest times each day while everyone was gone. He would literally FLUSH the toilet, watch and play with the water as it flowed out and filled up and then flush the toilet again. HILAREOUS to watch!!

Jennifer H

A friend of mine was once waiting in line at the grocery store with her daughter who was about 5 or 6 at the time. Her daughter started playing with something in her purse, but was being fairly quiet so she didn't pay much attention. People started laughing and so she turned around and her daughter had one of her tampons and was pretending it was a magic wand on everything around her. Including the people in line behind her!

robyn bedsaul

Hey Corinne!

I need to start this story with telling you that my twins spoke VERY WELL very YOUNG. Okay, here goes...When the twins were little we'd playfully pat their round, diaper clad behind and say something about how cute their "big, old butt" was. One day we were shopping in a local department store and a rather well endowed in the backside salesclerk bent over to pick up a hanger she had dropped. Callie loudly exclaimed but as sweet as pie, "OHHHH, look at her big old butt, isn't it CUTE!!!" I just mumbled an apology and red-faced quickly walked away!

Julie Ann Shahin

Ok...maybe I'll get points for originality?? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMH0bHeiRNg
The funniest six minutes you'll ever see, click on link.

Congrats on your paper line!
Julie Ann Shahin

jill s

ok. so here is just the MOST recent funny thing my 2 year old has said...she's SUCH a motor mouth...lol. I LOVE IT!:)

so she came in our room this morning around 3am [NOT funny!]...and after sending her back to her bed twice she came back in again...once again i told her sweet dreams...you need to go back to bed...and she started SCREAMING crying, "YOU CUT MY TOENAILS!!!!!!!!!!!" i had to ask her to repeat it twice...lol. i said 2 weeks ago i cut your toenails! "YES...you did!"

after apologizing...lol. she went back to bed finally. this girlie cracks me up!

AND...i just have to say i LOOOOOOOOVE this line...i'm having a boy in 4 weeks and this would be just TOO much fun!:)

love reading everyones comments.

have a beautiful day.

xx
jill

Rosa

Hey Corinne!

When my little girl was 3 yrs old we took her to the park to fly our kites. We opened the boot of our car and I noticed I had forgot something, I said “ I forgot to bring the drinks”.
My little 3 yr old DD said, “ mum you forgot to bring the wind!”

“We cannot fly our kites without the wind!”

This was so funny and of course very cute!
I hope to win one of your lovely packs Corrine! Thanks for the chance to win a Rak!

Nili

My son (5 years old) asked my DH at bath time why our last name is Elburg? DH explained because opa (=grandpa) is called so and his opa was called so too. DH wanted to know why he is asking? so my son told him he doesn't want to be called so. Why not? because he likes more the name 'Algechtaft'!! who's that? no one! he just made it up and since then he corrects anyone who calls him in his own last name. Ha Ha I got at home the next 'J.K. Rowling'!!!
Nili:)

Tammy

So I hope this is ok to post! I heard it from Marie Osmond at an event I went to a couple of weeks ago & if she can tell it then so can I! :)

How do you know which potato is the hooker??


The one that says Idaho! :)

funny, huh??

Anyways.... luv your paper! :)

Elizabeth

Hi! Ok, it *just* hit me that you were the one that designed this paper!!! OMG, Corinne you are sooo talented this is the paper line that I am most anxiously waiting for!!!! Congrats!!

Ok, onto the story! A few days ago I was looking through your gallery and opened your blog,and my 12 yo dd walked in....

DD: what are you doing?
me: looking through someone's gallery
DD: why? do you know her?
me: Not personally, but I know her work
DD: let me see...OMG!!! That's Russo! Russo is a scrapbooker?!?!?!?
me: yep! cool, huh?

She thought you were Stockard Channing from her favorite movie "Grease" and of course I let her believe it! LOL

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/dayart/movies/44502/44502_bt.jpg

and I have to agree I think the resemblance is there.

Have a great day! :)

Trish Harwick

Ohh!!! Congrats on your new paper! What an awesome accomplishment! Now to make you laugh????
Here is an email of funnisisms I received last week:

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

----------------------------------------------------------------

WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
And I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
Pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MARRIAGE SEMINAR

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,
Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,
"It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes."
He addressed the man,
"Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife? He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... So does she. (I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
The husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WORDS

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
"The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you !

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who
Should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee. The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee ."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says .......... "HEBREWS"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
And were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM . " He left it where he knew she wo uld find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM . Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

Elizabeth

Well, when my dh turned 50 (ouch, he's a lot lot older than me!) I rented him a red PT Cruiser for the weekend and off we went to stay in our very own concrete wigwam at one of the last two existing Wigwam Motels from the 1930s. So, the whole weekend was vintage themed and Indian themed and so it was only fitting that we have feathers to wear on our heads, right? I had planned in advance for that one and made a trip to the local party store well before the trip. One afternoon we set up a photo shoot right there in the middle of all the concrete wigwams wearing our red feathers and cheesy grins. Suddenly we had lots of new friends who wanted to take pictures with us and find out where we got them! Even Ivan the REAL Indian from Canada and owner of the lovely motel complex joined in and took some pix of us. Well, ever since then we have taken our little red feathers on our trips....so year after year an album appears featuring the highlights of the "Wigwamers" vacations (as we have become known)! The Wigwamers have done Chicago, NYC (totally fit in there, no one even looked at us twice, even when we were in the middle of Times Square!), Las Vegas (2 hours in the middle of the road where the Welcome to Vegas sign sits, no kidding!), and most recently Tucson (cat's eye sunglasses, legs kicking, hands in front of mouths and making our Indian noises in front of our 1950s vintage travel trailer)! Where will they be heading next you ask? Hopefully Phoenix in September but, what the heck, I think I'll pack them when we head to Busch Gardens amusement park in Williamsburg, VA this June! And, if you didn't laugh at that, how about the fact that my friend's little sister used to call me Liver when we were kids? She couldn't quite spit out Elizabeth but she could sure say Liver! My godmother (her mom) still calls me that to this day!

Ashley Schultz

I have two things:

1. My three-year-old niece asked my husband, "Uncle Wendel, were you at Aunt Ashley's wedding?" (My name is Ashley). Too cute.

2. This happened when I was fourteen years old, at a dnace. I had taken my shoes off (high heels), so I could dance easier. The floor was slick and I was wearing nylons. I was swing dancing with the guy I had a huge crush on. I slipped and fell on my knees and my dress AND slip went over my head. I don't know if you can picture this well, but basically my rear end was in the air with my dress and slip on my head and I was in a kneeling position. To top it off, I was wearing bright blue underwear. Apparently, quite a few people stopped dancing to look. To this day some of my friends still call me "flashley."

Laura Stewart

FART.

Michelle Magana

Ok let's give this a try:Here are some text message jokes to send out.

1.Michael Jackson has died a family spokesman announce he lost his battle with food poisoning. Apprently he ate some 12 year old nuts.

2. The Police just found a body with no brain, messed up teeth, and some nappy hair. I was worried call me if you are ok!

Those are the only one's I know hope you enjoy it.

The comments to this entry are closed.