Today was the day the last stitches were coming out. Anthony had surgery last week to get the pins out of his ankle. He did awesome. He woke up so good from the surgery, telling everyone how much he loved them, lol! When I told him that later on he looked at me if I was nuts. He had no pain and had no problem walking out of the hospital a couple of hours later. He just had two stitches that had to be taken out today. When it was time to get them out he had a huge panic attack. Luckily before he came in I told her he has Autism but still she just stood there not knowing what to do.(she is the doctors assistant). Anthony screaming he wants to die, crying his eyes out, screaming that he knows it will hurt and that I am lying when I tell him it will not hurt. I had to grab his leg tight and tell her to just do it otherwise she could never do it. I have to be hard to anthony or else he will stay in his panic attack and it will only get worse. It is the only way to get him out of it. So of course it didn't hurt, it were two stitches and the wounds were completely closed. So when she was done he was mad at himself for making such a fool out of himself. Saying he hates that his Autism is doing this to him and that he wants to die and be born again as a different person, a person without Autism. He blames everything that went wrong in his life to Autism, the schools he has been in, the reason he has no real friends, his panic attacks.
Normally I always know what to say, make him see the positive, but somehow I couldn;t come up with anything today, because everything he mentioned was indeed because of his Autism and it breaks my heart that he sees it so clearly now as well.