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February 13, 2007

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Lilian

Wauw, wat een verhalen, ga ze straks allemaal even lezen.

O.k. hier komt ie van mij:
Mijn man en ik waren op vakantie in Frankrijk en we liepen nog wat rond in een haventje voordat we een boottocht zouden maken. Mijn man wilde even kijken bij een vistentje en ik ging zolang op een muurtje zitten. Hij zei nog:'weet je het zeker, blijf je hier zitten?''Ja, ja tuurlijk.'
Toen ik daar een poosje had zitten kijken bedacht ik me ineens dat het wel een hele leuke foto zou worden, mijn lief zo bij dat visstalletje. Dus ik beladen met tas en het fototoestel in de aanslag al lopende richting visstalletje en man. Ik keek door de lens van de camera en dus zag ik niet waar ik liep en je raadt het al. Vlak voordat ik er was viel ik werkelijk met een enorme smak plat voorover over een stoeprandje op een parkeerplaats vol met grint! Ik had zo'n wikkelrokje aan met een hempje en daaronder slechts mijn bikini, dus ik lag er nogal sexy bij, het rokje was helemaal verschoven ;-(. Een Fransman een auto schrok zo erg dat hij gelijk in uit zijn auto sprong om mij overeind te helpen. Ik kon nog net bedenken dat het wel heel raar zou zijn als mijn man zich op dat moment zou omdraaien (ik lag vlak achter hem en hij had niks gehoord!) en ik werd net overeind getild door een vreemde man. Dus ik zei heel zachtjes, om hem niet te erg te laten schrikken 'Peet, zou je me even willen helpen?' Nou, hij schrok zich werkelijk te pletter :-) en hielp me voorzichtig overeind. De Fransman had zich inmiddels uit de voeten gemaakt. Ik had mijn been behoorlijk geschaafd. Maar......... ik had mijn fotocamera zo stijf vastgehouden, omdat ik bang was dat ie anders stuk zou vallen. Ik zei nog voor de grap: 'stel je voor dat ik het knopje heb ingedrukt toen ik viel, dat zou een leuke foto zijn.'(ik scrapte toen nog nie). En werkelijk ongelooflijk, maar toen de foto's later in Nederland werden ontwikkeld zat er een wazige/ bewogen foto bij van een grijs vlak een verkeersbord en mijn schaduw. Elke keer als ik weer in dat foto-album kijk komt dat verhaal weer naar boven.

Dit is inmiddels al een aantal jaren geleden, maar mijn man heeft me nooit vergeven dat ik niet gewoon op dat muurtje ben blijven zitten, hij is zich rot geschrokken. Draai je je om, ligt ineens je vrouw achter je, terwijl ze verderop op een muurtje rustig zou zitten wachten!

(ik ben kort geleden overigens weer gevallen bij ons huis, gestruikeld over de betonrand van de vuilcontainer, daar lag ik dus ook achter). Hoezo onhandig? ;-))

IreneF

Here's one that can't be told in English either:
Jasper kreeg een pakje drinken. Schudde het eens flink door elkaar en gaf het aan mij om open te maken. Voor de zekerheid schudde ik het ook nog een keer. "Mama, dat hoeft niet. Ik heb al gescholden ..."

silvitanova

The nose of my my 2 year old son was running.. he said: "Mum, my nose is running away!"
(Mamma, mijn neus loopt weg!)

Wiebke

Well, i'll just try my best ;)
I am doing a work experience in a primary school for three days now.
Yesterday I accompanied a third grade during their English lesson. When I went into the class room lots of children ran towards me and asked me how I am. So I told them "My name is Ms. Schatz." (Schatz in German means "darling"). So the kids were laughing around and making jokes. One of them, a boy, who was just as tall as my hip, came to me with an macho expression on his face and said "Hey Schatz, you are sexy!". I couldn't believe my ears. The situation was so weird, that I couldn't help smiling ;)

Sam

Roses are read
So are books!

Sam

susan j

My dh was having to drive to the country for work. He always got a hire car when he was driving long distances for work to prevent wear and tear on his own car. So, one day the whole family got into our car to drive daddy to pick up the hire car. Our eldest daughter decided she wanted to go back home with daddy in the hire car. She thought it was all so exciting.

So, we turn up at the hire car place and Alyssa says :

Daddy, where is the hire car?

Daddy : Over there Alyssa. See the white one?

Alyssa as she is about to hop in the car : Daddy, I really don't think this car is much higher!!!!

So, it was funny at the time!!

Jamie AKA Tysdragonfly

You know Corrinne, Right now a funny joke or story escapes me, but I thought maybe I could make you smile anyway. It seems to me that you are just the type to appreciate this...
About 2 weeks before my Tyler passed away, he and Amos were in the kitchen plundering around while I laid in the bed watching the teletubbies they left me and Jake with. Tyler come running into the bedroom with the biggest smile on his face and something hid behind his back. He plopped up on the bed beside me and said in the most serious of tones (now remember he was only 4 when he passed) "momma, you're a good woman" Now this struck me as odd and maybe a little bit funny, and still does to this day because he said woman, not mom. I asked him why and he pulled his treasure from behind his back, the biggest strawberry I had ever seen, almost the size of a small apple, and said " for buying me these strawberries... So thats my make you smile moment... Come to think of it, if you wanted to laugh I could tell you about the time he crammed 4 cd's into my moms cd drive covered with peanut *butter*, cause well you know, butter does makes things slippery... hehe

Annelies

Ik ga mijn verhaaltje in het Nederlands vertellen, want in Engels zal ik er niet helemaal uitkomen vrees ik.
Het is geen mopje, maar gewoon iets wat ik meemaakte en waar ik altijd met een glimlach aan terugdenk. Ik hoop dat jij hetzelfde effect ondervindt.
Ik studeerde ontwikkelingssamenwerking en we gingen toen op studiereis naar Uganda. We gingen daar onder andere op onderzoek in een dorpje, waar normaal geen blanken komen en de mensen geen Engels spreken (er was wel een tolk mee). Als afsluiter van de dag wilden de Ugandezen een lokaal liedje voor ons zingen. Dus stonden we allemaal samen te dansen tussen de bananenbomen. Als tegenprestatie zongen wij dan ook een Nederlandstalig liedje voor hen: "Vrolijke Vrienden" (ik weet niet of jullie dit in Nederland ook kennen) De vice chairman van het dorp was zo enthousiast dat hij ons vertelde dat zijn echtgenote hoogzwanger en dat hij het kindje Vrolijkevriende ging noemen. Dus nu loopt er in Uganda een ondertussen 2-jarige peuter rond die Vrolijkevriende heet. Grappig hé.
Groetjes, Annelies

laura kate

(had just posted this over @2ps when i saw your thread...hope you laugh!)

Obituary:
ROMANTIC LOVE, DEAD AT 900

Romantic Love, a cultural icon best known for inspiring millions of greeting cards, was found dead on Wednesday. He was more than 900 years old.

The cause of death was still undetermined by press time, but police said that the body's state indicated that he had been dead for some time. "There was little more left than a dried-out husk," said Detective Vincent Lupercalia, "And there were signs of predation, gnaw marks. We've brought in Celine Dion for questioning." Friends and relatives were likewise uncertain about the cause of death, but indicated that Love had been ill for some time.

"Look at all his latest projects," cousin Platonic Love said, 'The Bachelorette,' 'Beauty and the Geek,' that last season of 'Flavor of Love'… I'm not sure if it was dementia, but he clearly wasn't well." The body was found by landlady Venus Grabyewski, who said she had entered Love's apartment after attempting to contact him for weeks. "He hadn't paid the rent in three months, I was trying to evict him," she said, "He was totally bankrupt."

Although Love's precise birth date remains uncertain, popular belief holds that he was born Courtly Love in southern France in the late 11th century, the son of troubadours (known today as "dirty hippies" ). Partnered with Chretien de Troyes, he scored an early hit with the late 12th century poem "Lancelot: Knight of the Cart."

Troyes, a clergyman, used his extensive knowledge of human sexuality to give the poem its stark realism; while Love, always the idea-person, brought the radical notion that male-female relations could involve more than the transfer of property rights (an assertion still disputed today). More hits with other collaborators followed and, as feudalism declined, Love sought to broaden his appeal to commoners as well as nobles. Replacing Courtly with the more rugged "Romantic" (and dropping the stage-name "Cougar" that he'd adopted in the 13th century), Love soon embarked on his career's most productive partnership: that with playwright William Shakespeare. Having initially written only about murder, flatulence, political satire and other base subjects, Shakespeare enthusiastically embraced Love's input. And despite occasional strains (after a row over "Twelfth Night," Shakespeare once said "Sweet Love, I see, changing his property, turns to the sourest and most deadly hate" ), they amassed a significant body of work -- including the successful play "Romeo and Juliet," later made into a 1996 film starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes.

After their partnership concluded, Love worked with many and various artists throughout the following three centuries, including Percy Bysshe Shelley, Lord Byron, Robert Burns, Emily Dickinson, William Butler Yeats and D.H. Lawrence. After a relatively lean period in the early 20th century, Love achieved newfound popularity for his association with The Beatles, culminating in the famed 1967 "Summer of Love." This period ended, unfortunately, with Love's misguided introduction of Yoko Ono to John Lennon, and, while busy afterward, his influence never achieved the same peak.

He is survived by his three children: Drunken Hookup, Marry For Money and Biological Clock Ticking.

(By Brian J. McFillen - originally published 2/14/07 in the Indiana Dailly Student News)

Michelle Van Etten

I have a small problem with bare feet and shoes. so at my house I only wear socks. i wear them outside, inside and all day long until i have to go out somewhere. i know it is crazy but I get cold easy. I have a tendency to go through socks quickly. so alot of time i borrow my dear sweet hubbys. I also scrap in my socks and instead of using a paper towel to get the stickles off the tip of my bootle or off me. I use my socks same for ink and any kind of adhesive. i have one other small problem I can not have messy hands. Ok I know I am a poster child for OCD. Well while in prep for a class i was teaching i was using fruit punch stickles and got alot on my and my socks. This does not wash off easily. Not thinking anything of it there not my socks. A few days later my hubby comeshome a slight bit angry at me. He is in the military and had pt today. He did not think to look at his socks before he took off on a 2 mile run with the rest of his squad, until he kept hearing the guys laughing and calling him sparkle. Yes his socks were all glittery and pretty and he had to finish his run in them. He was not happy. He now writes his name on the soul of his socks so he will no if I take them.

Ramona

Wow, you already got quite a few comments to read. But obviously you are still not doen:9 My funny story is this: I left a message on a blog yesterday. I intended to write ' we shared a slice of Simple Scrapbook's birthday cake', but somehow the 'S' got lost... So now everyone will think we ate the lice of a cake. Yuck! And here is the link so you can see for yourself: http://justmeagain.typepad.com/my_weblog/2007/02/a_great_class_a.html
It made me laugh very hard when I noticed my mistake, but it was to late to change the comment...

Tan

A relative on my Dad's side of the family was at the zoo visiting the apes. It was one of those enclosures that wasn't really enclosed, you just stand at the waist high fence and there's a big concrete moat (no water) between you and the apes. Anyway, she sneezed and her false teeth flew out and landed in the moat. They had to get a zoo employee to climb down there and fish them out for her :)

Terese

Ik zal ook eens een gokje wagen.

Ik ben met Alisha in een winkel en daar loopt een hele dikke vrouw.
Alisha zegt natuurlijk keihard door de winkel, mam, daar loopt een hele dikke mevrouw.
Ik heb haar even apart genomen en uitgelegd dat ze dat wel mag denken maar niet hardop zeggen.
Dat vond ze maar vreemd want die mevrouw was toch dik?
En ja hoor, een week later in een andere winkel, ik zie alisha vanuit mijn ooghoek kijken naar, jawel, een dikke mevrouw, het zweet begint me al uit te breken totdat alisha zegt, mama, er zijn hier alleen maar dunne mensen.
Pfff, kan wel zeggen dat het een opluchting was toen ze dat zei.

Lietje

Hai Corine

Het verhaal vertellen zonder de foto is niet grappig.
Hopenlijk wil je hier even naar kijken.
http://twopeasinabucket.kaboose.com/pg.asp?gallery=1&cmd=display&layout_id=1088898

christiane

story from yesterday: i've left a comment on a blog and i'm talking about *gänsehaut*. for fun and in dinglish it's called *goosepickles*. so, i'm talking at this blog about *goosepickles*. later i've got a mail from nat and she's so laughing about me: *you're so sweet, christiane!* and discreet she was giving me a subtle hint. lots of laughs on my side!! that's made my day! *LOL*

Beth Kronlund

:)

My youngest son is a Cub Scout and I'm helping him get through his requirements. This week we're focusing on a section about cooking. He needed to plan a meal, help cook it, set the table, help serve, then .... clean up. At the clean up point, his brothers had scooted away from the table (not unusual) leaving their dishes to be dealt with. With a sigh, my youngest announces that being a mom is hard work. Not ten seconds later, he announces: "That's why I'm practicing to be a Daddy!" LOL!!!

monique helfrich

I keep on laughing... reading all the comments!
I already told one fun story but by reading all these stories mixed up in English and Dutch I just remember one from long long time ago. I'll give it a try in English.

When I was about 16yrs I did sculling (roeien in o.a. skiff) for sport. We had an exchange with Bath- Great Brittain and one of the sculling girls stayed at my home. When having breakfast Sandra (the girl from Bath) loved the bread filled with almond spice (krentenbrood met spijs) and she wanted to know what it was made of. My parents and I tried to explain it in English. We didn't know the word for 'amandelen' (almonds) so my mother said "these are white beans"... when you speak out loud "white beans" it sounds like the meaning of with legs spread apart - in Dutch dialect... we couldn't stop laughing and were not able to explain our laughter to Sandra and my little sister....

Cristina

I was chatting online with a friend, while listening to music. She started to get hiccups, so I shared my tip on how to get rid of hiccups. I said; "stand up, take a sip of music, bend over and swallow." She said "a sip of music?? How do I do that??" I *meant* to say, "a sip of *water*"!!! Well, we both had a good laugh and she finally got rid of her hiccups! Dank u wel for this draw! (I have always loved your scrap studio, by the way!!!!)
.:Cristina:.

Marianne

Zo, wat een reacties! Succes met de leukste uitkiezen.

Omdat mijn man de vervelende gewoonte heeft om bij een lang stuk rijden achter het stuur in slaap te vallen, laat ik hem dus liever niet alleen rijden. Sinds een half jaar heeft hij een nieuwe baan in Bilthoven. Hij reist dus iedere dag van Zaandijk naar Bilthoven; met de trein want ik wil dat hij aan het eind van de dag weer heelhuids thuiskomt. Vorige week belde hij me om een uur of 19.00 op. Ik zit in Castricum, ben op de terugweg in de trein in slaap gevallen en gisterochtend was hij om 8.00 uur 's ochtend in Den Bosch aangekomen: in Utrecht niet uitgestapt weer in slaap gevallen. Nu probeer ik hem om ongeveer 18.30 uur wakker te bellen als hij waarschijnlijk slapende in de trein zit. Dus zie je een slapende man, leeftijd: 41, rond die tijd in de trein dan is het misschien de mijne wel.

Natalie

I hardly ever and I mean never drink beer. One night it tasted really good and I drank one real quick. In a nice restaurant, without warning a burped the loudest most awful burp in my life, the whole restaurant looked at me and all I could do was turn red while my family sitting at the table just laughed. I have never been so embarrassed in all my life. I can laugh at it now, but I never drink beer at all. Will never live that one down.

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