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Oh it is hot!

The weather here is so hot. and I don't do hot. I get a sun rash really easily, so for me it is all about staying inside and you will never ever see me trying to get a tan by lying on a beach or in my backyard. BUT wait a minute....I do have a tan :)
I walk the dog an hour every morning, this morning sweating like a pig when I came home, and without really doing anything for it I got a little bit of a tan.

Speaking of me walking. I told you last week I was trying to improve my eating habits right? well I didn't eat candy ,chips or whatever that is bad for you all week, I walked the dog and I lost......NOTHING! NOTHING, I even think I gained a bit. Soooooooooooooo frustrating when you live with Raymond AKA david Beckham ;) who started to go to the gym again. he lost 2 kilo's in 2 days by going to the gym and not eating cookies, frustrating I tell you and the worse thing is he doesn;t have to lose weight at all, he looks smoking hot already!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
So my next plan is to start swimming in my vacation in Italy. Early in the morning, like 7-ish. Doing tracks for one hour. And continue doing this when we get back home once a week with Anthony.

I became to realize that my weight is just a fat-suit that I put on me to feel safe, to hide from the things I didn't wanted to take a look at, I didn't wanted to feel. But instead it is not helping me to feel safe it is in fact suffocating me and making me feel miserable. I believe everyone who is seriously overweight has issues they do not want to look at. When I look in the mirror I think "WHO is that? That is not me!"
Well it is and I have to accept myself now the way I am and from there I can go forward. I know that inside of me is the real me who is scared shit of getting hurt, to trust someone and to not be good enough. So I am working on it and I know I will find her someday and give her a good old hug and tell her she is strong, positive, caring, sexy, worth to be loved, that she can do and achieve anything she wants to and so much more. I tell her I believe in her.

Ok I think I am going to scrap about this NOW :)

Corinnexxx

PS: my bloodtest was good and so were Jadenn's ears, thanks for asking and caring.

PS 2: I started twittering check me out and ad me if you want under corinnedelis.

The King of pop :(

OMG I can't believe Micheal Jackson is dead. I woke up this morning and DH told me straight away the news that he saw last night on CNN. I was a big fan back in the days:
Micheal 
This was just a part of my wall in my bedroom. I remembered that I had some sort of photo of that so I looked for it this morning. I felt sorry for him to see him getting worse as each year past. I think children who are in this industry from such a young age are 9 out of 10 screwed up, they never had a normal life. I hope he finds peace.

Yesterday Soraya went to the meeting for Benelux next topmodel and doesn't know yet if she will be picked or not, BUT they did asked her the name of the photographer, they thought it was a professional and looked at her strangly when she told me it was a niece of her mother's.....Insert BIG grin on my face :)

Ok I am off to get Jadenn's ears tested. last week he went to the hospital to have a look at his ears and they looked fine, but than they ran an ear test and the result was not good. It showed that his left hearing is a lot less than it has to be. So to make sure that he did the test right and that the results are right we are going to a hearingcentrum today to get more tests.

corinnexxx

woohoo!

Soraya was called yesterday that they wanted to see her on thursday, so keeping fingers crossed here that she makes it to the first round!!!!

Fathersday was awesome. We let him sleep out for a bit and woke him up with lots of presents. We went to my dad for a cup of coffee and cake and off we went to the beach to have lunch there and walk in the sand. The weather was really good, not to warm and not to cold, just perfect I would say. Here is a short impression of our day:
Vaderdag-021 
Vaderdag-009 
Vaderdag-050 
Vaderdag-080 
Vaderdag-107 
Vaderdag-133 
Vaderdag-127 
Vaderdag-150

I started to watch my eating habits again since yesterday. So far so good. I do not want to do a diet this time just doing what i suppose to be doing, water, fruit, vegetables, variation. I also plan on swimming once a week for an hour(with Anthony) after we get back from our vacation to Italy. I will not weigh myself every week. I will just see how it goes, no pressure here either :)

Corinnexxx

Taking things slow

Taking things slow these days and it feels so good! No pressure on having things done or needed to be done makes me feel really good. Yesterday I had a talk with my ADHD counsler and I told her I did not wanted medications but instead I wanted a coach for 3-6 months to help me set up a schedule for my household and my finance. Those are the things I still can't seem to get a grib on by myself. Hopefully I will get premission to get this kind of help.

I have been sorting out a lot of photo's and Word documents on my external harddrive and with a lot I mean A LOT! I do it folder by folder because when I look at the whole amount that I need to sort out and than transfer to smugmug I can freak out for real. I have gone digital in the end of 2002 so you might have an idea of how much that is in photo's. Like I said folder by folder.

I just finished a little photoshoot with my niece her daughter Soraya. She wants to enter Benelux Next Topmodel and needed 3 shots of herself. So she came in with make-up on, which she had to take off from me right away. All naturel baby :), something she didn't like that much. Later on I did her make-up and hair for a glamourshot. These are the ones she is going to submit, what do you think?
Soraya-face 
Face shot
Soraya-totaal 
Body shot
Soraya-glamourshot 
Glamour shot

Corinnexxx

Fly

Here is my lo for my challenge on the EntreArtistes blog
Fly

Go check it out and link me up to your lo or project!

Corinnexxx

I am getting there

Phew, what a long time it has been hasn't it?

I am trying to not feel guilty and trying to listen to myself and my body for a change. I have been reading, sleeping and scrapping...YES! scrapping. Mostly for magazines but I enjoyed it again :)

So far what this attitude has brought me is more silence inside my head, I do not flip anymore or feel like steam coming out of my ears. I am starting to feel more contend and even happy. I can feel that joy is ay my reach but still I can't seem to grab it YET! Still there are a lot of things that still do not work, but I am patience and I know it takes time, so I sit back and enjoy the ride.

I made this lo about it:
Joy 
And here is a sneak peek of my new challenge which will be revealed on the EntreArtistes blog this wednesday:
Sneak peek 

So what else has been happening in my life?

Anthony: Anthony was talked about by the people who guide him and us(from time to time) and they think a day treatment at the psychiatric ward for kids,  which is next to his school, might be good for him. I told her otherwise and why and she said I also had some good points. It doesn't feel right to me. I feel that if I do this it would be the beginning of the end for him, do not ask me why but I have always felt this, strongly! He is doing better in school since January and his teacher is happy about that as well, so that is all that matters for now.

Jadenn: Jadenn is going to 3rd grade(not sure if that means the same in the usa) next schoolyear. I can't wait for it! I hope that he will do fine with reading and stuff. Would be a breath of fresh air to have a kid without troubles/worries in school. He got his 5th sticker today for swimming which means it will not be long before he can get his diploma for swimming!
The proud little man:
Juni-2009-255 

Ok off to relax again :), talk soon!

Corinnexxx

I know

It is getting boring, no lo's to show you. But I have scrapped, only it is for magazines so I can't show yet, but soon i will make more :)

Ok I got the link to this site from Martine Rijnbeek. It is THE solution of NEVER losing my photo's ever again! More people have told me they keep their photo's online. So check out www.smugmug.com where you can upload unlimited! photo's in HIGH resolution files for only 34,95(if I am correctly) dollars a year!!!
I signed up right away because the gallery they are presenting is pretty darn good and easy to use. If you also want to storage video's you pay around 60 I believe a year and if you are a photographer the set of 149,95 is the one for you I think :).

I realized that this was the best thing to do because an external harddrive can crash as well...iek....do not even want to think of that one, I would die! So I plan to put everything I have on DVD's, than put everything online and also keep it on my exteral hardrive....just in case :)

So go check it out. If you want to try it out for 14 days for free you can sign up and if you want a discount(who doesn't ?!) you enter where it says discount code: chOIzQltqSYFg This way when you do sign up after 14 days you will get a discount :)

Ok this is the best give away I ever seen. Jenneke is so kind to do this. Hopefully I will be the lucky winner :) doesn't her house look awesome!?

Ok gotta go put my kids to bed and than do some scrapping, a few deadlines are aproaching fast!

Corinnexxx

Booked!

I just booked our vacation and flights to Italy! We decided this year to go on a last-minute vacation but DH said to me he wanted to go to the camping in Italy again. I looked for it online a few weeks ago and it was all booked and the one that I found was sooooooooooo pricy that it was insane! This weekend my parents told us that they were going to Italy also in July twice so they couldn't look after our dog. I was forced to book a vacaction right away instead of last-minute since I couldn't find any doghotel for the summer vaction otherwise. So yesterday I checked again, you never know right? And lucky me I found one spot in the same kind of caravan we always stay in(your own shower and toilet, for me a must have!). I found a spot in a doghotel for Issi as well and just booked our flights that were a bit cheaper than yesterday :)***edited: My sweeeeeet friend danielle wants to babysit Issi for a week :), love you so much Daan!!!!)

To be honest this is more a vacation that my DH and kids enjoy, hanging all day at the lake and such. I rather do something, see something, but I do realize that is not something the rest of my family is into. So we are going for 14 days and maybe I can re-shoot some of the pics from last year to cover up the pain of the loss of thise pictures.

Corinnexxx

Zet 6 juni

maar in je agenda als je zin hebt in een scrap yard sale! Monique Helfrich uit Sint Pancras(Noord-Holland) zal deze dag heeeeeeeeeeeeeel veel scrapspullentjes verkopen die gedoneerd zijn door mij. Heel veel boeken en tijdschriften, een clip it up, veel nieuwe dingen nog in hun verpakking, 2 MM snij apparaten, te veel om op te noemen!!! (3 verhuisdozen, grote, in totaal)
200905 022

Dus op 6 juni van 9.30 tot 14.00 kun je langskomen!

De opbrengst is voor het goede doel A Sisters hope . Ook ik heb besloten hieraan mee te doen, althans een poging te wagen. Ik loop nu al een tijdje bijna elke dag 1 uur(nog geen gram afgevallen, maar dat terzijde) en de bedoeling is om dat voor oktober uit te breiden naar 5 uur per dag, daar het eind doel is 60 kilometer te lopen in 2 dagen.

Mocht je interesse hebben kom dan gezellig langs, ik probeer er ook te zijn :). Je kunt monique mailen naar m.helfrich@xs4all.nl om haar adres en routebeschrijving te krijgen. Hopelijk tot ziens!!!

corinnexxx

So sad....

I just looked at all the photo's ED could save and I didn't know I had so many pics with other people in it than my family :( So dissapointing to see those over and over again while you are hoping to find family pics of you and the kids in Italy on vacation, their birthdays( I am missing 2008 and 2009 from Jadenn and 2008 from Anthony :(, special memories with just me the kids and DH......instead you find a LOT of NKOTB pictures, circus photo's, a million pictures of Storm that my sister already has on DVD, a lot of pics of my pregnant sister, my sisters babyshower, all of which she also has already, 50 pics of a pregnant Amber Ulmer( love you amber :), Pics of other family's that I took(Florence I still found a lot of them!, etc, etc. So I am sad this morning, missing my pics with CĂ©line, my Napels trip, My family vacation to Italy, Sinterklaas where the kids got Issi our dog, Christmas, I can go on and on, but I am just sad.

Also lost a lot of exspensive photoshop actions and textures that I bought over the years, have non of those anymore :(

Don't get me wrong I am VERY grateful that Ed found so many things back and I am VERY happy with the ones he did recover that my kids are on, but I am just am sad this morning because the reality has sunk in that I lost almost everything of 2008(almost all my found pics are from 2009).

Corinnexxx